Yes, it is important for our kids to have play dates, but as much as our kids gain from playing with others (learning to share, playing together, being independent, different ways of playing, etc.) we as moms gain a lot from these as well. Here are some of the benefits of playdates. (Being away from family/MI friends some of these still apply to the virtual playdates I have with some friends- meaning our kids are playing well on their own so we chat on the phone for a bit). We are finally settled in our new home and I'm trying to start planning playdates with new friends.
(Not ordered by importance)
*It gives you a reason to get dressed and look presentable. Yes sometimes that means changing from your pjs to yoga pants, or -gasp- to an ACTUAL outfit (if you feel motivated enough). Good to have a reason to clean up.
*It breaks up the week! With my hubby's schedule often weekends/weekdays often look about the same and currently we don't have any classes or groups scheduled, so it is becoming a struggled to keep the whole week from blurring together.
*Suddenly your children are much more interested in toys they've forgotten about (unfortunately it is because someone else is playing with them!). Hopefully that interest continues when your new friends go home.
*You get affirmation that you are more than a diaper-changing-pbj-sandwich-making-robot (because hopefully you can hold a better conversation than a robot!)
*Speaking of conversations you can HAVE ONE without having to guess what the other person is saying (unless of your new Mommy friend has an odd accent or you are having a "virtual playdate" with poor cell service). In my house one twin is learning lots of new words and it isn't always easy to translate (cook-cook= Cookie... got that easily enough but Mimi=Murray was a little trickier, and I still don't know what Shooby means!). Her sister is fond of speaking English words only once, then reverting to her own language. Both make conversations a little complicated.
*Your feelings/fears/worries/blunders/struggles can be validated by someone else who has been there. I told one of my twin mommy friends that while OBVIOUSLY I love both of my girls (and would never give either of them up!), I often feel guilty that they never had that 1:1 time as a baby (or ever!). Sometimes I wish I could have had them one at a time.
She just stared at me (I'm thinking "Crap, am I a bad mom for saying that?") and then after a minute she says "I'm SO glad to hear someone else saying that. I feel horrible that I wish that sometimes, but then I feel bad that I'm always sharing my attention." We both needed to hear that it wasn't just us feeling that way. That's just one example, but I always feel better when I talk to other moms who are in a similar place.
It is easy to feel like an island when you stay home. Your day consists of doing things for the kids, the house, your spouse. Getting out isn't always easy, and doesn't always help (Side note: I made up my mind to go out last week with the girls and we were walking around the mall, missing our friends back home, and all of a sudden the power goes out in the mall. Time to go home! It took longer to get ready and get TO the mall than we were able to spend there! The downed wire causing the outage made the 15 minute trip home almost 30. THAT trip didn't make me feel any better!). But talking to other moms, sharing your experiences and advice, asking others for their suggestions to similar issues..it always make me feel better.
So if you are feeling a little island-ish these days, try to find a friend and plan a playdate. Even if you don't have a ton in common, if you are both moms you'll have something to talk about.
(Not ordered by importance)
*It gives you a reason to get dressed and look presentable. Yes sometimes that means changing from your pjs to yoga pants, or -gasp- to an ACTUAL outfit (if you feel motivated enough). Good to have a reason to clean up.
*It breaks up the week! With my hubby's schedule often weekends/weekdays often look about the same and currently we don't have any classes or groups scheduled, so it is becoming a struggled to keep the whole week from blurring together.
*Suddenly your children are much more interested in toys they've forgotten about (unfortunately it is because someone else is playing with them!). Hopefully that interest continues when your new friends go home.
*You get affirmation that you are more than a diaper-changing-pbj-sandwich-making-robot (because hopefully you can hold a better conversation than a robot!)
*Speaking of conversations you can HAVE ONE without having to guess what the other person is saying (unless of your new Mommy friend has an odd accent or you are having a "virtual playdate" with poor cell service). In my house one twin is learning lots of new words and it isn't always easy to translate (cook-cook= Cookie... got that easily enough but Mimi=Murray was a little trickier, and I still don't know what Shooby means!). Her sister is fond of speaking English words only once, then reverting to her own language. Both make conversations a little complicated.
*Your feelings/fears/worries/blunders/struggles can be validated by someone else who has been there. I told one of my twin mommy friends that while OBVIOUSLY I love both of my girls (and would never give either of them up!), I often feel guilty that they never had that 1:1 time as a baby (or ever!). Sometimes I wish I could have had them one at a time.
She just stared at me (I'm thinking "Crap, am I a bad mom for saying that?") and then after a minute she says "I'm SO glad to hear someone else saying that. I feel horrible that I wish that sometimes, but then I feel bad that I'm always sharing my attention." We both needed to hear that it wasn't just us feeling that way. That's just one example, but I always feel better when I talk to other moms who are in a similar place.
It is easy to feel like an island when you stay home. Your day consists of doing things for the kids, the house, your spouse. Getting out isn't always easy, and doesn't always help (Side note: I made up my mind to go out last week with the girls and we were walking around the mall, missing our friends back home, and all of a sudden the power goes out in the mall. Time to go home! It took longer to get ready and get TO the mall than we were able to spend there! The downed wire causing the outage made the 15 minute trip home almost 30. THAT trip didn't make me feel any better!). But talking to other moms, sharing your experiences and advice, asking others for their suggestions to similar issues..it always make me feel better.
So if you are feeling a little island-ish these days, try to find a friend and plan a playdate. Even if you don't have a ton in common, if you are both moms you'll have something to talk about.